And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
