If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
