once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
