she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize