Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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