so that wasnt chicken after all
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
