He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
