do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
