we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
