thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
