He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
