forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
