So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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