i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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