I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who died my cat blue again?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize