It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
