My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
