I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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