Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
