Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
