if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
