Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
