I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
