I don't think brook has ever known best
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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