I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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