if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have fence marks all over my body
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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