I want to make a zoo with you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
