He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
