your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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