Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
