another moral hangover. fuck.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
