I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
