your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
