WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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