i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
