is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
