What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize