And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
