I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
