the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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