When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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