Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
