My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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