I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
