There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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