So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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