You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
