You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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