So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
