Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
