Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
