Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize