At least make sure they are 18
Why
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
