Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
operation harelip BJ is a go
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
