You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
