And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
