And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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