if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
