I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
