You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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