i don't like sucking hair
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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