I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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