You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
