you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
