We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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